The man cake and I do this thing. It’s a waiting game and it involves avoidance behavior with a hint of laziness and a competitive edge. This is how it works: we each procrastinate completing tasks that need to be done to see if we can hold out just long enough so that the other person does it. This is really romantic.
Making coffee Saturday morning is one I typically win because I have nooooo qualms about pretending to be asleep until the coffee is brewed and in my mug. Taking out of the trash. We’re about even keel here. I say it’s a man’s job. He says I’m the one that fills it up. We meet in the middle by letting that sucker pile up until we rival Shell Silverstein’s imagination. I’m sorry, but if Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout would not take the garbage out, I sure as hell ain’t neither. The one I lose at every time is finding the house key in the dark to unlock the door. I get cold and then all overwhelmed so it takes but a split second before I cave and sift through my gazillion keys to force each one by feel into the lock.
I find the best way of winning this highly skilled waiting game is by acting as though I don’t notice or care about the task at hand. This transfers the emotion and anxiety associated with the task (because taking out the trash is so daunting) to the other person, and it’s always best to get under your opponent’s skin.
The number one activity both G and I avoid at all costs is peeling and chopping garlic. To the extent that we hardly even use it any more. True: we both waited so patiently that we forgot garlic even exists. But haste, the wheels have turned, the waters of change have….changed and (insert cliché here). Savora sent me a snazzy McSnazzy garlic press to use to my garlic-pressing delight. Sweet Janet, Chrissy and Jack, I’ve been a garlic pressing fool! And, and aaaaaaand….they sent me an ice cream scoop too!
They came all neat and tidy in boxes that open and close with Velcro. SAAAAWEET! Sleek. Colorful. Useful. Ergonomic.
The first thing I did when I de-velcroed my garlic press box (after all the ooh-ing and ahh-ing) was…wait for it, wait for it…I made salad dressing! Garlic Ginger Sage Cumin salad dressing…..whoooo knows what to call that?
I thought it’d be real neat to sauté the garlic, ginger and sage in order to soften the zing and get some flavor going. So I pressed my garlic, I sautéed, and believe you me, the dressing came out great! I had a sighing (that’s Australian for ripening) head of kale and a hankering for veggies so I made a southwest kale salad and doused it in the dressing. And that, my friends, is how you lose the dinner waiting game.
Thank you, Savora for the sexy press and scoop. And for bringing garlic back into my kitchen. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to put on my I-don’t-care-about-dessert face so that love hunk goes and makes dessert.