Reason number five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred why you shouldn’t eat sugar: sometimes your sugar bombs come with company.
Let’s back up. Last weekend, the man and I went camping. And of course, we just haaaaaaaaad to pick up s’mooooooore fixings, because camping isn’t caaaaaaamping without s’moooooores. So we did and we s’mored and brought the leftover fixings home.
If you’re like me, you know beyond the shadow of a doubt that nothing will be right with the world unless you have something sweet to eat after dinner. Nothing! The world must. be. right. So Wednesday, I did one of these: Today kinda sucked. A marshmallow will make the world right. Okay, today didn’t suck that bad, but a marshmallow sounds reeeeeal goooood.
So I reached into the bag of leftover s’more fixings (which of coooooourse was still on the kitchen floor because why would you unpack even though it’s been five days since you were camping?). I got me a marshmallow. I took a bite of el marshmallow. And it was stale, no biggy…but it tasted reaaaaally bad. Why does this marshmallow taste SO BAD?? Okay, it kinda tastes good….wait…wait…..waaaaaaait. This marshmallow tastes bad.
You know women. Women have intuition. Women know what’s up before they need evidence. I knew what was up. But I still needed evidence. I removed el marshmallow from my mouth, and there it was.
A teeny little ant struggling for his life, kicking his little ant legs up in the air. Whhyyyyyy Julia, whhhhhyyyyy?? The ant shouted at me.
I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I didn’t know you were there! Finders, keepers, the marshmallow was rightfully yours…I don’t know why I had to go and take your marshmallow away from you and in so doing, mortally wound you, ant! I said.
Disgust. Disgust and spit and garbage disposal and guilt. Shame. Tail between my legs, I couldn’t help but think the divine heavens were sending me a message. Not only do marshmallows hurt you, Julia….they hurt your roommates. Duh. The divine heavens told me.
I have never been much of an insect killer…especially not with my mouth…so this situation was a bit traumatizing. Did I reach for another marshmallow? Nay. Did I reach for the chocolate in its stead? Yes. The message from the divine heavens was not heeded. Sugar was still consumed. Albeit, no more innocent bystanders were harmed.
What does this have to do with crispy cauliflower cakes? Nuttin’ honey!
I happened upon this recipe as I was flipping through the August Cooking Light. It spoke to me. The crispy cauliflower cakes look like crab cakes and I looooove crab cakes, so I made them. They taste maaaarvelous (although they do not taste like crab). You MUST make the sauce that goes with them, you MUST! It’s one of those sauces that makes you throw down everything you’re holding (ant-ridden marshmallows included) and sluuuuurp!
Had a rough day? Have cauliflower cake.
Recipe adapted from Cooking Light Crispy Cauliflower Cakes with Herb Sauce and Arugula Salad