Hey, Ja Ja Jaded…
Such a catchy tune..
Valentine’s Day.
Twenty-four hours on the space time continuum. It’s just a day…no cause for stress…no reason to panic…
Okay, I’ve been a little panic-y. Regarding How To Tackle Valentine’s Day on My Blog.
And by “a little,” I mean, my blood pressure has been off-the-charts. Since Jan 31.
The Holiday of Expectation and Obligation is upon us, and I’m at an imaginary crossroads, feeling as though I need to choose a side. Team Hearts & Flowers or Team Haterade. The romantic in me wants to whisper sweet nothings to your eye sockets and feed you all the edibles that are seeping with love potion number nine, but the realist in me can’t help but type words like, “Nothing says twue wuuuuv like a dozen dead flowers,” and/or “Valentine’s Day is where good flowers go to die.”
Because it’s true. Those poor, poor flowers. They never really had a chance at life.
Aren’t you glad you’re reading this on a Monday?
It just so happens that my take on Valentine’s Day makes me sound like I have more baggage than LAX in spite of the fact that I wholeheartedly, unabashedly, and shamelessly desire, respect, and love ooey gooey drippy fantastical love.
My lack of interest in the holiday is not because I’m damaged, renounce twue wuuuuv, am an antiestablishmentarianist, and have zero capability of absorbing love emotions through the receipt of cheesy gifts, like commercially-made chocolates packaged in a big bulbous red heart and flowers THAT ARE DEAD, PEOPLE (even though some of the aforementioned is absolutely true). It’s because I find the holiday to be drenched in meaningless obligation and an un-sexy portrayal of romance (kind of like someone shoving their tongue in your mouth like they’re searching desperately for a piece of gum).
No one makes it through Valentine’s Day unscathed. Even us naysayers who saaay we don’t give a lick about it. No one wins at Valentine’s Day. Except those who do, but seriously, who are those people? And are they battery-operated?
I know, I know. Cue up the carousel and start counting the baggage.
Someone get this girl a shot of whiskey. Make it a double.
Now that I’ve sold you my Team Haterade diatribe, may I please soften the blow with some creamy chocolate?
Chocolate is delicious.
That’s the main bullet point of this post.
Irrespective of relationship status or team affiliation, all I reeeeeeally want to say is, MANGE ZEEZ POTS DE CREEEEEME-uh < – said in a french accent, of course.
Have I mentioned zere are beetz dans zeez beet pots de creeeeme-uh? Beets and chocolate. Both aphrodisiacs, both equally delicious…a winning combination…don’t pretend you don’t love it…don’t play hard to get…make these pots de creme…this is an every-day-appropriate recipe that I just so happen to be posting the week of Valentine’s Day. No big deal. Don’t make it awkward.
You guys, there’s no creme in these beet pots de creme, ohhhhhh I tricked ya! They’re creme-less pots de creme that are also dairy-free and contain no added sugar. Full-fat coconut milk is what gets the job done here, and it gels with dark chocolate chips for an insanely dense, rich, and decadent treat. A treat that happens to be an aphrodisiac. And happens to be perfect for romantic holidays that rhyme with shmaleyvines ray.
This instead of dead flowers, if you please.
Dark Chocolate Beet Pots de Creme
Ingredients
- 1 14- ounce full-fat canned coconut milk*
- 2 tablespoons tapioca starch
- 1 cup cooked beets chopped
- 1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
- 1 10- ounce bag of dark chocolate chips about 2 cups worth
- Pinch of salt
Instructions
- Add the dark chocolate chips to a medium-sized mixing bowl.
- In a small bowl, stir together 1/4 cup of the coconut milk and the tapioca starch until smooth and all the lumps are out.
- Place the remaining coconut milk in a blender with the beets and cinnamon and blend until completely smooth.
- Transfer the coconut milk/beet mixture to a saucepan and heat over medium, just until the mixture begins to steam and become slightly frothy (don’t let it come to a boil). Add in the tapioca starch mixture and salt and whisk constantly until mixture is thick, about 5 minutes. Remove from heat and pour into the bowl with the chocolate chips. Stir until well combined and all of the chocolate chips have melted.
- Divide chocolate beet mixture among four or five 5-ounce ramekins, and allow them to cool slightly before placing them in the refrigerator. Chill for at least 2 hours before serving.
Beets?! Blowing my miiiiind with these! So I don’t love V-Day either and have no intention of posting anything related on my blog. It just feels so cheesy, right?! Can’t we just order a pizza and sit in front of the tv instead of a big dinner out?
Yes, yes we can! And I’ll join you. Pizza + all the Gilmore Girls on netflix.
Speaking of dead flowers, I was at Costco in the line-up to return items recently, and watched a woman RETURN a dozen roses. Yup, she’s done with those now–let’s take ’em back. I know Costco has an excellent return policy, but really? By the way, your chocolate pots look amazing. Thanks for making them dairy-free.
Ohhhhh that’s classic! It makes you wonder if the flowers ended up on someone else’s kitchen table. I guess recycled dead flowers are one step above dead dead flowers? Anyhoo, glad you like the pots de creme!
As it happens, I’ve got something chocolately in the pipelines to be posted this week (who doesn’t, right) and I really really wanted to put beets in it but couldn’t quite wrap my head around it. And look at you, cracking the code for chocolately beet goodness. Well played, Julia. Well played.
Cheers to painting the blogisphere in chocolate! Hopping over to your site to see what magic you’ve made 😀
I might be married but I’m on team Haterade with you! It’s fun when you’re a little kid and you get to give someone your favorite Minnie Mouse valentine but after that it’s just a bunch of bullshit.
But I’ll take any excuse to eat chocolate and these pots look DEEEVINE. Heading to the recipe now! 🙂
I just KNEW you and I were on the same V Day page! I enjoyed the holiday in grade school because: candy + minnie mouse valentine’s, but as an adult, I just think it’s a weird ass day. Hope you and hubs have a marvelous romantic evening on Saturday!
It is a super cheesy holiday, but I fully support any reason to get presents (Josh and I are not even exchanging any this year, but my sister sent me a bar of fantastic spicy cinnamon chocolate – win!) and the discounted meals at fancy restaurants. Also an excuse for Josh to get his ass in the kitchen and make me a tasty dessert like these 😉
Bahaha! Spicy cinnamon chocolate sounds pretty epic. Lemme know if Josh puts it into high gear and makes you a romantic treat!
These sound delicious and I love that they are dairy free.
These pots de creme sound very interesting. I think they might qualify as red velvet?
I’m one who has always pretty much hated Valentine’s day – it’s always been a day for disappointment. Now it no longer matters, because I’m married to a wonderful man. We don’t celebrate Valentine’s day usually (we did go out to the most special place around here for dinner one year) and he never buys me dead flowers. All unnecessary when you have someone who demonstrates on a daily basis that they love you. I feel truly blessed. He was worth the very long wait (we got married when I was 63).
Thank you for this, Susan! Your comment made me tear up. Real love is absolutely worth waiting for and I’m so happy you and your husband have a great relationship! You’re giving me some serious hope here!! xoxo
Holy cow these are gorgeous!!
I swear I’m the worst blogger ever because where the rest of the blog world is planning recipes and posts for Valentine’s Day I’m just over here like uhhhh it’s February already? Yeaahhhhh need help with that. Poh de creme will due. Wait…are we not talking in a French accent anymore? Regardless, you snuck beats in the chocolate which is the way to by nutrition-freak-heart.
Love the dead flowers comment. Beet and chocolate seem just strange enough to work. I’m a dark chocoholic so this Pots de Creme might not last long around me. Love it
It’s amazing how well beets and chocolate work together. This recipe wasn’t my first romp with the combo. Let me know if you make the pots de creme!
Well it looks gorgeous from your photos – I’m intrigued so will pop over to see the recipe, I’m not thrilled with Valentine’s either!!
Mary
And that’s why I won’t let Jerry get me flowers. Dead. Nothing more depressing. Although, there will be flowers at the wedding, just to set that one straight.
That Jerry is one smart man! Cheers to men who make smart gift choices. And I figured there’d be dead flowers galore at the wedding…but that’s different than someone handing you a bouquet of flowers on V Day, ya know…bring on the wedding flowers! 😉
NO ADDED SUGAR = I LOVE YOU. As you know. 😉
Love ya back, sister!
I’m the absolute worst at holiday food for the blog! I’ve been stressing out so much about what I am going to make too and feel like I should be putting out one V-Day dessert per day! Chocolate definately seems like the way to go and these pots de creme look amazing!! And I love a dessert that incorporates beets in it 🙂
Oh girl, no need to stress. I contemplated not making a damn thing for Valentine’s Day and not saying a damn thing about it. But these pots de creme are so damn good, I couldn’t resist. Let’s see if I can set a record for how many times I can say “damn” in a comment response. Damn. 😉 xo
I have a plus one and I’m joining your revolution – going to take my single lady friend out for a drink + food cause us ladies gotta stick together, ya know?
bowls full of this may make an appearance.
Heck yeah, friends who drink together on Valentine’s Day stay together 😉
I am just so dang happy to hear that I’m not the only V-Day scrooge. I can’t stand this holiday. I truly believe it’s a made up holiday. Some gal wanted chocolate so desperately, that she went to great lengths just to get it, i.e. V-Day. I’ll take this little cup of joy (because I happen to love chocolate all year ’round) and be on my way, ignoring the crap out of V-Day. Pinned.
I’m fine with mostly ignoring the fact that it’s Valentine’s Day so long as I still get to eat all the chocolate!! And now all the pots de creme. CREME-less pots de creme. That is just sneaky in the best way.